From the category archives:

Self-Assessment Quizzes for Partners of High Achievers

How good are your arguing skills?

by admin on September 17, 2008

The ability to talk cleanly and effectively in the heat of an argument is a great skill to have. High achievers and their partners have little “down time” so the opportunity to reconnect, as well as the toll an argument takes on your focus and energy, come at a high cost.
If you’re in a relationship with a high achiever, his/her negotiating skills may have been getting more practice than your own. Consequently, their competitive nature may kick in automatically and leave you feeling invalidated and unheard. Take this quiz to see if your arguing skills could use an upgrade.

  1. When I become aware of an issue that needs to be discussed, I usually stuff it. What's the use? He's going to win the argument anyway.



  2. Most of our fights occur after my partner returns from a trip or at the end of the day when we're tired or have had too much libation.



  3. When we argue, I get the feeling he just wants to win. He doesn't care what the issue is.



  4. I don't do a very good job of staying centered during a heated discussion. I usually end up crying. Sometimes I use the tears as a way to soften his anger to get my way.



  5. We never resolve anything. I just end up apologizing in order to get him to get over it, even when I don't think it's my fault.



  6. I tend to wait until I feel anger welling up inside of me before I bring up an issue that's been bothering me.



  7. My partner and I often fall into the habit of being critical with one another when we're not getting along.



  8. I get confused when we're fighting. I always think of what I should have said afterwards.



  9. My partner takes my words out of context and twists their meaning. He hears it differently than what I'm actually saying.



Are you losing your identity?

by Carol on September 6, 2008

Take this quiz to find out just how challenged your identity is in being present in your own life. Answer the questions accurately - no one else is watching, and if you want some real insight, you’ll need to be honest with yourself.

  1. When you shop for home furnishings or do renovations, you first consider how others will see the changes before you consider what you'd like or need.



  2. When having dinner with your spouse's business colleagues, you have stopped trying to enter the conversation in any meaningful way.



  3. Less than half of your friends could be counted on for personal support.



  4. You enjoy the feeling of walking into a store you frequent and being recognized as someone who makes large purchases.



  5. Your plans for leisure travel are based on where others have recently gone.



  6. Your self-development goals have gone underground and are now little more than fantasies, most of which you never share with others.



  7. You keep a running tab of what other spouses are wearing/driving/doing. This includes the activities/organizations in which their children are involved.



  8. Your sex life has become another duty to perform, not an activity of fulfillment or an opportunity for building intimacy with your partner.



  9. You feel like people know who you are and are always watching you in public.



  10. You frequently attend social events you don't care to attend, and socialize with people you don't connect with or like very much



  11. You fantasize occasionally about leading an entirely different life in a different place.



  12. You often feel drained or apathetic. You haven't experienced real joy or satisfaction in a long time.