From the category archives:

Best Books

Money, A Memoir

by Carol on November 5, 2008

Liz Perle is a great writer - you’ll enjoy the visit with her. I recommend this book to all women, and some men. Money has a very powerful energy and we really haven’t created much awareness around it in our lives, which is interesting considering how focused we are on acquiring it.

From the publisher:
“A bold and personal book that digs below the surface of one of society’s last taboos—money—and illuminates how women’s emotional relationship with it affects every part of their lives
Long ago, and not entirely consciously, Liz Perle made a quiet contract with cash: she would do what it took to get it—work hard, marry right—but she didn’t want to have to think about it too much. The subject of money had, since childhood, been quietly sidestepped, a shadowy factor whose private influence was impolite to discuss. This deliberate denial eventually exacted its price, however, when a sudden divorce left Perle with no home, no job, and a four-year-old with a box of toys. She realized she could no longer afford to leave her murky and fraught relationship with money unexamined.
What Perle discovered as she reassembled her life was that almost every woman she knew also subscribed to this strange and emotional code of discretion—even though it laced through their relationships with their parents, lovers, husbands, children, friends, co-workers, and communities. Women who were all too willing to tell each other about their deepest secrets or sexual assets still kept mum when it came to their financial ones.
In Money, A Memoir, Perle attempts to break this silence, adding her own story to the anecdotes and insights of psychologists, researchers, and more than 200 “ordinary” women. It turned out that when money was the topic, most women needed permission to talk. The result is an insightful, unflinching look at the once subtle and commanding influence of money on our every relationship.”

Slow down and read this

by Carol on September 6, 2008

“In Praise of Slowness” by Carl Honore is an entertaining read and a good lesson. If you’re a high achiever,  you’re doing way too much and under tremendous pressure to cram even more into your day. This book will remind you why substance can’t be replaced by More.

From the publisher: “We live in the age of speed. We strain to be more efficient, to cram more into each minute, each hour, each day. Since the Industrial Revolution shifted the world into high gear, the cult of speed has pushed us to a breaking point. Consider these facts: Americans on average spend seventy-two minutes of every day behind the wheel of a car, a typical business executive now loses sixty-eight hours a year to being put on hold, and American adults currently devote on average a mere half hour per week to making love.

Living on the edge of exhaustion, we are constantly reminded by our bodies and minds that the pace of life is spinning out of control. In Praise of Slowness traces the history of our increasingly breathless relationship with time and tackles the consequences of living in this accelerated culture of our own creation. Why are we always in such a rush? What is the cure for time sickness? Is it possible, or even desirable, to slow down? Realizing the price we pay for unrelenting speed, people all over the world are reclaiming their time and slowing down the pace — and living happier, healthier, and more productive lives as a result. A Slow revolution is taking place. ”

Too much stuff

by Carol on September 6, 2008

“The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less” by Barry Schwartz is a great book for anyone who is wondering why they aren’t happier with all this stuff they’ve acquired. It’s not just about stuff, though, it’s about a society that’s overwhelmed with free will.

From the publisher: “In the spirit of Alvin Toffler’s Future Shock, a social critique of our obsession with choice, and how it contributes to anxiety, dissatisfaction and regret. Whether we’re buying a pair of jeans, ordering a cup of coffee, selecting a long-distance carrier, applying to college, choosing a doctor, or setting up a 401(k), everyday decisions–both big and small–have become increasingly complex due to the overwhelming abundance of choice with which we are presented. We assume that more choice means better options and greater satisfaction. But beware of excessive choice: choice overload can make you question the decisions you make before you even make them, it can set you up for unrealistically high expectations, and it can make you blame yourself for any and all failures. In the long run, this can lead to decision-making paralysis, anxiety, and perpetual stress. And, in a culture that tells us that there is no excuse for falling short of perfection when your options are limitless, too much choice can lead to clinical depression.”

It’s him to a tee

by Carol on September 6, 2008

Yes, someone has actually written a book about your spouse. When my clients read this, they can’t believe all the behaviors and attitudes they live with are actually part of a personality type. This book will help you develop some terrific insight into your relationship with your high achiever.

The Hypomanic Edge: The Link Between (A Little) Craziness and (A Lot of) Success in America New York; Simon & Schuster (2005)

John Gartner quickly realized he was on to something as he engaged a number of CEOs and entrepreneurs and saw a pattern developing before his very eyes that you know oh so well.
From the publisher’s description: “Hypomania, a genetically based mild form of mania, endows many of us with unusual energy, creativity, enthusiasm, and a propensity for taking risks. America has an extraordinarily high number of hypomanics–grandiose types who leap on every wacky idea that occurs to them, utterly convinced it will change the world. Market bubbles and ill-considered messianic crusades can be the downside. But there is an enormous upside in terms of spectacular entrepreneurial zeal, drive for innovation, and material success. Why is America so hypomanic? It is populated primarily by immigrants. This self-selection process is the boldest natural experiment ever conducted. Those who had the will, optimism, and daring to take the leap into the unknown have passed those traits on to their descendants.”

Biker Mojo for Women

by Carol on August 15, 2008

Kick Start: A Cosmic Biker Babe\'s Guide to Life

What exactly is it that’s so cool about being a Biker Babe? This book will show you how to rev up your SheBiker energy to become a part of the philosophic and spiritual revolution of women in the Biker Age.

Buy it here

Book Review of Kick Start by Amy Ruth Tobol

When I fell in love with motorcycles and made the decision to learn to ride, I knew no women riders. I found out about women bikers by surfing the Internet. Some of the images I came across I had expected, that is, barely dressed buxom babes riding on the back of bikes. I expected these images because I came of age in the sixties and seventies when the phrase “women and motorcycles” meant women who were “fast” (i.e. promiscuous). They rode on the backs of motorcycles driven by macho, beer drinking bearded men whose lives seem to revolve around bars, brawls, and booty. I knew nothing about Bessie Springfield, or Dot Robinson, or any of the other women motorcyclists who rode in the front. What I knew about motorcycles growing up had nothing to do with me; I was female, a good girl, and destined for “better” things.

What I also discovered on the Internet, however, was that real women ride motorcycles, too. Other Internet images, and my discovery of the Sirens, provided me with different possibilities. These women represented the possibility that even if riding a motorcycle meant I’d be a “gender traitor” (Jones 89) that would be something to be proud of. They represented the realization of the kind of power, independence, and freedom that the women’s movement of the sixties and seventies had promised. They are the “shebikers” that Carol Setters chooses as her metaphor for liberation in her recently published self-help book, Kickstart: A Cosmic Biker Babe’s Guide to Life and Changing the Planet.

For Setters, the images of “shebiker” and “cosmic biker babe” capture the spirit and core of her approach to self-actualization and liberation: it takes courage to buck tradition and be yourself. Setters’s message may very well be aimed at women in the baby boomer generation who have occupied a difficult place in the evolution of gender roles. Many of us, particularly those from middle-class and white communities, who came of age in the sixties and seventies have straddled traditional gender roles of the fifties and the new ideas about gender of the eighties, nineties and beyond. Many of us can relate to Setters’s stories of women who have submerged their selves in dangerous, exhausting, or unsatisfying lives. Setters challenges us to embrace the “shebiker” within: “A person unafraid to take on the danger of being out there in the world with nothing but her will to survive and the ability to endure the ridicule of being different”. Embracing an authentic life, according to Setters, also means escaping from the “Land of the Consumer Zombies” in order to “love the world into a saving grace”. Living the lives we were meant to live can help save the world.

Possibly even more important than the advice Setters offers to women is her use of “shebiker” and “cosmic biker babe” as metaphors in celebration of being different, that is, strong, powerful, free women. Women motorcyclists, even more than male motorcyclists, have personified the courage of being different, of breaking out of traditional gender roles and expectations (see, for example, Ferrar). Until fairly recently, popular cultural images have created and perpetuated the notion that the only seat for aspiring female motorcyclists was on the back. Films such as The Wild One (1954), The Wild Angels (1966), The Cycle Savages (1969)and Easy Rider (1969) epitomize this representation.

More recent representations of women motorcyclists such as the “shebiker” of Kickstart are a significant departure from the past. Sasha Mullins’s “bikerlady” or Samantha Hatch’s “bikerbabe” website, where to be called a “bikerbabe” is a mark of respect, reflects these changes. Concurrently, there has been an explosion of travelogues, personal nonfiction and websites also written by women and celebrating the real lives of women motorcyclists (see Larsen, Dicks, Pierson, www.cyclewoman.com). Academic studies of real women motorcyclists energize these images by validating the confidence, sense of freedom, and control over life that riding a motorcycle can generate (McDonald-Walker, Jones).

Within this larger context, Setters’s “shebiker” is not simply a self-help book for self-actualization, but also a contribution to the growing stable of positive images of women motorcyclists. As Setters illustrates, positive representations of women motorcyclists can be powerful and transformative metaphors for women stuck in uncomfortable lives. Whether the advice Setters offers leads to learning to ride a motorcycle, ditching a destructive relationship, or changing jobs, any avenue that will encourage women to lead more authentic lives and “love the world into a saving grace” is to be applauded.