How good are your arguing skills?

by admin on September 17, 2008

The ability to talk cleanly and effectively in the heat of an argument is a great skill to have. High achievers and their partners have little “down time” so the opportunity to reconnect, as well as the toll an argument takes on your focus and energy, come at a high cost.
If you’re in a relationship with a high achiever, his/her negotiating skills may have been getting more practice than your own. Consequently, their competitive nature may kick in automatically and leave you feeling invalidated and unheard. Take this quiz to see if your arguing skills could use an upgrade.

  1. When I become aware of an issue that needs to be discussed, I usually stuff it. What's the use? He's going to win the argument anyway.



  2. Most of our fights occur after my partner returns from a trip or at the end of the day when we're tired or have had too much libation.



  3. When we argue, I get the feeling he just wants to win. He doesn't care what the issue is.



  4. I don't do a very good job of staying centered during a heated discussion. I usually end up crying. Sometimes I use the tears as a way to soften his anger to get my way.



  5. We never resolve anything. I just end up apologizing in order to get him to get over it, even when I don't think it's my fault.



  6. I tend to wait until I feel anger welling up inside of me before I bring up an issue that's been bothering me.



  7. My partner and I often fall into the habit of being critical with one another when we're not getting along.



  8. I get confused when we're fighting. I always think of what I should have said afterwards.



  9. My partner takes my words out of context and twists their meaning. He hears it differently than what I'm actually saying.